She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
