Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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