Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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