Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
