Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
