Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
