He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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