Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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