Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
