Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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