I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
