his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
