Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
