found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
