Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
