Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
