Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
