I hope mine doesn't look like that
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
