nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize