I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
