Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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