Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
