Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
