Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
