btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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