Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
