i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
