we're blogging at a bar
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I AM VODKA MAN
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
