like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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