Walk of Shame. In a state park.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
pop tarts are not kleenex
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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