Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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