I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
