her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
