That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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