so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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