Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
