I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
