This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
