OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
