What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
