Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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