dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
