The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize