My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We have started to decorate penises.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
