get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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