Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
she looked like the before picture.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
