I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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