we're blogging at a bar
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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