Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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