I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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