i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
