if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
