We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
