i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
