I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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