Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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