...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
