How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
