so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I love you. Go after that dick
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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