I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
